The world’s most boring bird just got boringer

Qustion: Who arrived in Britain several years ago from the Balkans and has a really dull and monotonous voice?

No, it’s not 2014 Wimbledon champion Novak Djokovic. (Shame on you for even thinking such things.)

It is in fact the collared dove (Streptopelia decaocto) and this morning it tried to wake me up at the uneearthly hour of 6.30am.

The trouble with the collared dove is that, unlike Status Quo, who can play a whole three chords, this bird has only three notes in its repertoire. And they’re all the same one.

But this morning’s sorry example, sitting in the wild cherry tree opposite Waffle Towers, had condensed its ‘song’ down to just two notes. And it kept going for a good twenty minutes.

Now that’s what I call laziness.

Next time the pesky collared dove tries anything like that, I’ll be at the window with my mini trebuchet and a set of interlinked loom bands, and I’ll take it out with a well-aimed cherry pip from one of the many scattered on the road hereabouts after the annual ‘June drop‘. The satisfaction, I can assure you, will be all mine 🙂

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