Hell in the sun

‘I’ve just had a bit of a shock,’ said Shana.

I ducked as I came out of the downstairs storage cupboard. (It’s a bit like coming out of the closet. Only not. Oh anyway, hang on, I can’t read my own typing…)

‘A shock?’ I said, imagining Shana had run out of crayons or something. ‘What’s up?’ I asked. ‘I hope it’s important. I was right in the middle of a big piece of dust.’ (I had been carrying out a feasability study re putting another shelf in the cupboard, if anyone’s bothered 🙂 )

‘Well,’ said Shana, ‘I was searching through the Freeview programme guide on the telly, and I found in the listings something called “A Place In”. As you know, I always use shortened titles on the programme guide setup, so I don’t have to scroll left and right too much. And I thought I’d found “A Place In The Sun“, which would have been ok, since Sunday is a lousy day for tv viewing. But it wasn’t “A Place In The Sun” after all.’

‘What was it?’ I asked, keen, as if you hadn’t guessed, to know what it was.

‘When I expanded the title display it turned out to be a fillum called “A Place In Hell“,’ said Shana.

‘Eh? How come?’ I said, by now utterly mystified and longing for the security blanket of tatty wood offcuts and metal brackets.

‘Instead of landing on the listings for Channel Four,’ said Shana, ‘I’d stumbled upon a new channel called Movies4Men.’ For obvious reasons (please don’t write in, anyone, there’s a dear) Shana is clearly not the target audience for the Movies4men channel. And BTW, why is there not a Moview4women channel? Answer me that!

‘”A Place In Hell” was it?’ I said. And then , after a short pause,

‘Was that the one with Jonnie Irwin in it?’

Yeah, I know. Easy mistake to make 🙂


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