The UFOs are on their way…

Ancient monuments like Stonehenge were, as we all know from watching endless reruns of Time Team, cleverly aligned with the position of the sun at various times of the year. These times included summer and winter solstices, all those equinoxes, and probably the chief builder’s aunt’s birthday. All in all, such monuments were great feats of engineering, mathematics, and astronomy. Thus proving that ancient Man was far superior to his pitiful little modern day descendants.

Little-known fact, however: the spyhole in the front door here at Waffle Towers doth admit a powerful beam of sunlight at certain times in summer, and this light travels along a dead-straight path all the way to the other end of the caboose (ie, our cosy galley kitchen). If you happen to be making a cup of rosy-lee at the time, you have to shield your eyes or otherwise block the laser-like intensity of Apollo’s torch from rendering you totally helpless.

The presumably intentional and therefore accurate positioning of door, spyhole and kitchen can in no way be seen as mere coincidence. It shows, I believe, a sophistication far in excess of what one might have expected from 20th Century builders. I might even suggest that there was some kind of ritual associated with the positioning of all these architectural elements. (I guess making a cup of tea is a sort of ritual; it certainly is in Japan, at any rate.)

Add to the above another little problem we have and the mystery only deepens.

We spend most of our time in a living room that is north-facing. Surprisingly, it is not at all cold, especially in summer. Even more surprising is how, despite the room’s orientation, we are still affected by the glare of the sun. Dazzling reflections from windows in a block of flats about 200 metres away (give or take) hint at yet more arcane architectural alignments on an even grander scale among the other buildings in our area.

Nothing is known about the mysterious beings who put up the houses, apartments and maisonettes in around here. Only that they were a shadowy group known to later ages only as…’The Council’.

Anyhow, to combat the mirror-like glare of sun off other people’s windows and cars, we have plumped for some discreet cafe-style net curtains at our living room window. Shana found some nice ones with owls on.

Only after placing the order did Shana notice the net curtains company was in Rendlesham. (Where the UFOs come from!) “I wonder if UFO now stands for ‘Unidentified Flying Owl’?” I joked. “Perhaps all the best flying saucers have little cafe nets at their windows.” Shana’s reply is too long to report in full here. But let’s just say she was a tad sceptical at my flippant suggestion, shall we? 🙂


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