How to make bowls more exciting

As if life were not exciting enough here at Waffle Towers, we have been watching the Bowls World Championships on telly this week. For sheer adrenalin-fuelled action and, it’s unbeatable (although the Watching Paint Dry Championships does come close πŸ™‚ )

Bowls though, can still be improved.

Bowls’ winter relative, curling, inspired me. Often known (dreided?) as ‘bowls on ice’, curling (a sport popular in the Republic of Scotland) involves sliding a half-ton boulder along an ice rink towards a target. Curling players move in advance of the boulder or ‘stone’ using specaial long-handled brushes to smooth the path of the stone and help it to reach its goal.

I suggest that bowls should adopt similar tactics. As bowls is played on a long carpet, brushes would not work so well. Instead, bowlers could walk in advance of their bowls, using a small vacuum cleaner such as a little smiling Henry, to clear up any dust or debris that might otherwise slow down their bowl. Rules would be needed to limit the suction of the chosen vacuum cleaners so that nobody could gain an unfair advantage by somehow sucking the bowl along towards the jack.

Maybe I should write to the governing body or whoever makes up the rules for bowls. I’ll get my crayons out right away…

In other news, the World Bowls Championships for next year was going to be held in Las Vegas. However, this has since been changed, as players were unhappy with the carpet the Yanks were planning to use. I can see their point, although I quite like it myself πŸ™‚



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