Hams under the hammer

Our lunch, for the past couple of days, has been ham rolls. Not just any ham, but oak-smoked ham. And not just any rolls either, but crusty white ‘petit pains’ (that’s mini baguettes if you were wondrin’ 🙂 )

So at precisely about eight o’ clock this morning, Waffle Towers was full of the aroma of baking bread. And this particular smell has one almost magical property. It’s supposed to entice potential buyers into agreeing to purchase your house.

‘Could you go to the loft for a while?’ Shana asked, hovering rather over-protectively near the oven and all that yummy part-baked bread.

‘Why?’ I asked (perhaps unwhysly)

‘Because,’ Shana explained, ‘as the great Martin Roberts of Homes Under the Hammer fame, and his grandad, TV builder Tommy Walsh, never tire of telling us viewers, if you want to increase the value of your home you should always go up into the loft.’

So off I trotted, loft-bound at last. Until, as I reached the top landing, I realised something was wrong.

‘Shana!’ I called down. ‘Your theory has a basic flaw.’

‘What’s that?’ Shana asked.

‘Well, we don’t actually own Waffle Towers. Not as such. It happens to be someone else’s property. So all this bread and loft stuff is never going to work. Sorry.’

Shana was as crestfallen as a cockatiel on a bad hair day. ‘So what would we get if we sold the house?’ she said.

‘Oh, about three years or maybe just a small fine,’ I said.

‘Ah, I see,’ said Shana. ‘Anyway, up into the loft with you, there’s a dear.’

And really, there’s no arguing with logic like that, is there?

Good thing this computer monitor has a bright display though. Makes it much easier writing blog posts from the loft. Otherwise it’s jolly dark up here. Can hardly even see the spi…



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