Shana and I have an uncanny, and at times infuriating, habit of (not to put too fine a point on it) pinching each other’s place on the Scrabble board. Thus, among dozens of other examples, in a recent game I had spotted a lucrative chance where I could not only use my Z twice on the same double word square, but also put down the words OZONE and ADZ. Shana put the kybosh on my plans by sticking down the word IN.

‘”In”?’ I said, remonstrating with Shana afterwards. ‘Hardly great literature, is it?’

Shana was equally put out though, as apparently I had unwittingly nicked a few of the places she was going to use too. I don’t know if it’s down to telepathy, sheer bad luck, or what. But whatever is causing these Scrabble clashes, we have devised a plan.

‘You’d better mark the squares you want to use,’ said Shana. ‘Like the way a golfer uses a special personalised marker for the ball. I have just the right idea: put a little Subbuteo footballer on the board to reserve your chosen squares. I’ll do the same. Then we won’t hinder each other’s scoring opportunities any longer.’

Well, Shana may have had the Clever Idea of the Year (and it’s still only April πŸ™‚ ) but it just raises another problem. Which Subbuteo figure to choose? Shana probably wants someone traditional like Stanley Matthews, or maybe one of those women footballers that nobody has ever heard of. (Oops, I’ll get comments galore about that, I can tell πŸ™‚ )

Me? Well, I’ve already chosen mine. A retired striker who is now a tv star in his own right. Yes, none other than the great…

Dion Dulbin πŸ™‚


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