Serious health warnings

Smoking. It’s not a good idea. Unless you’re Mount Etna of course, in which case I’ll let you off.

Shana, who is making steady progress at drastically cutting her tobacco consumption with a view to stopping completely in due course, was busy distracting herself from the contents of a small pouch of tobacco this afternoon, by reading and re-reading the health warnings on the packet.

‘It says here that”Smoking seriously harms you and those around you”,’ she said. ‘Yes,’ I said, wondering what was coming next. You’ll never guess what did come next though.

‘Does that mean,’ said Shana, ‘that if I don’t smoke seriously nobody will come to any harm?’

‘Well, since you put it like that,’ I said, ‘I suppose you must be right.’

And so from now on, in a bid to be harmless to herself and the rest of the world, Shana will, for the rest of her smoking days, smoke in a flippant manner, maybe waving her arms about like a windmill or doing silly walks or funny voices. Anything except from smoking seriously. Different methods of stopping work for different people of course, But for Shana, steady reduction seems best. Cold chicken is not an option 🙂

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7 thoughts on “Serious health warnings

      1. PaperPuff

        That was the image I had in my head! A grouchy Groucho smoking and knitting. Possibly muttering too. As you can maybe tell, I have known a few people trying to quit! Good luck Shana, hope you do it.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Bob’s doing his best to give up smoking, too, Chris – but as funny as he always is, I don’t think it’ll help him with this 😦
    He’s cut down to 10g a week of baccy, but just can’t seem to take that last step, even with Vaping, too. It makes me glad that I bit the bullet and went cold turkey when I gave up 10 years ago now, as it was over and done with so much quicker 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We’re all rooting for Bob here and I’m sure he will succeed. I stopped in 2003 and my secret was using something called an ‘Inhalator’ which lets you pretend to puff away while only inhaling nicotine instead of all that gunge and tar. Ironically, it was Shana who had an old inhalator to hand, so all I needed was refill capsules.

      We haven’t gone on any cruises or bought any Ferraris with the money I would otherwise have spent on smoking. But I find I have heaps more free time from not having to mess around rolling ciggies all the time, and no more scorch burns on clothing (which was always annoying). And I can also enjoy having a friendly laugh at Shana’s expense when her disposable lighters run out of gas and she has to spend twenty minutes to get one to light. Altogether: hahahahahahahah!! It was worth stopping smoking just for that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I must admit, getting rid of my light was a pain, as I used to use that to light the gas hob with, but I bought a barbecue lighter, and it works even better 🙂
        Your inhalator sounds like the precursor to the Vape machine that bob uses – he’s doing well with it, so I’m hoping it’ll do the trick for him, too 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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