The curious tale of the Cornish pasty on the radiator

‘Why is there a Cornish pasty just below the radiator?’ asked Shana, who was sitting on the living room floor, dazed and contused.

A fair question, I thought, noting also her concerns about randomly scattered boiled new potatoes, one or two nestled comfortably by the maze of wires under the computer desk. And sharing her puzzlement at the row of garden peas lodged between the living room wall and the radiator pipework just above the skirting board. It struck me that the peas were lined up rather like a row of green balls ready for a snooker player’s trick shot.

Thankfully, this evening’s meal had included no gravy. (Big phew! there 🙂 )  And the little helpings of butter that had adorned the potatoes had hardly had time to melt before disaster struck, and so were fairly easy to clear up.

If you had just walked in the scene would have been a little like that on the ill-fated Marie Celeste, albeit a Marie Celeste manned by very messy eaters and with two of the scurvy crew (viz. Shana and I) still on board.

It’s a bit like one of those Sherlock Holmes locked-room mysteries, this, isn’t it? I bet you can’t wait to hear how this sorry scene came to be.

Well, it’s all quite prosaic, alas. We had just sat down to a late afternoon/early evening meal, when Shana decided to fetch a cushion from another part of the living room.Unfortunately she tripped over my foot, which had been so inconsiderate as to be on the end of my leg and also directly in Shana’s path. I am now designated as a human trip hazard and shall hand myself in to Health and Safety later this week, to return only when clad entirely in Shana-resistant padding.

Anyway, Shana now has more bruises than a crate of dropped apples, and feels like she’s been cage fighting with a grizzly bear.

I helped by clearing up the food debris and by wiping the floor with antibacterial wipes and doing lots of brushing. Then I checked on how Shana was faring. You may argue that I got my priorities wrong, but I contend that bumps and grazes always improve over time; whereas some of our floor covering was from an end-of-line selection and may very well be irreplaceable.

Anyway, I did make an excellent pot of tea soon afterwards, so I’ll have my gold star and nursing badge back, thanks all the same.

Tomorrow, I shall be wearing a hi-divisibility (sic?) jacket in order to be more noticeable. And Shana will be trundling around with the aid of a pair of those little stabiliser wheels that three-year-olds have on their bicycles.

Because you can never be too careful, can you? 🙂

Happy Anniversary

Wow, I had no idea it was 9 years ago I registered with WP, prior to that we rented our own server and ran our own WP, until damn hackers made mincemeat of it, grrrr…

…In fact I’ve been on the interwebs since the 1990’s, when you could run out of things to look at after a few clicks, and no commercial ads, real links to real pages, sigh, those were the days!

Bad Hair Day

I had a stupids this morning, added some baby oil to the bath to moisturise my skin. Good idea for skin, bad idea for hair. I washed my hair after to rinse the oil out, but my hair still looks like it’s been dragged through a chip pan backwards.

Very bad hair day 😦

Sunday Dinner

I had one of those deep nostalgia moments earlier, I remembered all the way back to the early 1960’s, specifically Sundays. We always went out on a Sunday, but not until the afternoon. Before then I had to endure the ritual of the cooking of Sunday dinner, it drove me nuts, and is probably why I still hate Sunday dinner!

As soon as we’d had breakfast, the oven would be lit, the meat and all the veg prepared. At the same time ALL the windows would be opened, sash windows so lots of cold air came rushing in. That was the problem, the house never had any heating, or running hot water, but I digress, back to Sunday dinner.

I would sit curled up in the chair, freezing to death, the smell of roast beef wafting through the house, my stomach growling like I hadn’t been fed for a month. It was torture. Starving, cold and bored to tears, I just wanted to go out on our Sunday outing!

When dinner was finally served, I then had to learn the art of balancing on a cushion while nit-picking my way around the plate. The only veg I would eat was peas and potatoes, didn’t like much meat either, Yorkshire Pudding was the best bit, especially as some were kept warm to have with syrup after dinner…but only IF I ate all my dinner!

And this is how miserable I looked after having suffered the Sunday dinner ritual!

Shana eating dinner
Shana eating dinner

FREE

I have got to have a moan.

A couple of months ago we decided to sell our redundant Halogen Heaters, 2 of them for a tenner. No takers. So we shoved them back into storage.

Two days ago we decided to list them for FREE, under the FREEBIES section of the classifieds. I was immediately inundated with a flood of emails, well just a few, all asking if the heaters were FREE. At this point there was much gnashing of teeth. I replied to the first, telling them where we are and asking them to confirm a time, heard nothing all day.

So late last night I emailed the second interested person, they said they were still interested but were no longer in town, could I deliver. No. Move on to the next enquirer.

Again I told the person where we are, asked them to confirm a time. Silence. Nothing. Nada. Then eventually an email asking what time was best for me, I gave them a time. Silence again. I have no idea if they’re collecting them or not.

Dammit, we’re giving away 2 FREE Halogen Heaters, how hard can it be for someone, anyone, to turn up and collect them.

Even more gnashing of teeth.

If no one collects by the end of today they’ll go back in storage and damn well rot until they’re not usable by anyone.

End of moan.

Update 6.00pm – The heaters have finally been collected, the young man was most apologetic, actually shook my hand to say thank you, then sent me an email to say thank you again. All is well with the world. 🙂