How to make money by mowing the lawn

We mowed the lawn today. I mowed: Shana strimmed.

It needed doing. After all, in the longish grass at the far end we discovered a couple of Japanese soldiers who didn’t realise World War 2 had finished 🙂

Anyway, I remembered a piece of advice given by Monty Don recently on Gardeners’ World. He said that leaving grass cuttings on your lawn (actually he was talking about a meadow, but the principle still applies) after mowing, will make your lawn grow more vigorously. It’s all to do with the cuttings rotting down and releasing nitrogen, which in effect is a superfood for lawns. Last thing we want, right? I mean, we don’t want to be out mowing and strimming every week if we can help it.

So we dusted off our trusty (no, not ‘rusty’) lawn rake, and removed the cuttings as best we could.

And it was as we surveyed the mini-mountain of clippings that a brainwave hit me. (Or it could have been today’s sweltering heat. Who knows?)

‘Great idea to make some money,’ I said. ‘We could divvy up this pile of cuttings into compact amounts. Perhaps put them in a little box with a bow on it, so it would make a nice gift. And then sell them on a well known internet auction site.’

Shana was agog. Or maybe it was the Saharan Setptember temperatures starting to get to her. Who knows?

‘As “Compost Heap Starter Kits”,’ I said.

But alas, my grand scheme may not come to fruition, because even as i spoke, Shana was herding me towards the dumpsters, together with my bin bag full of grass cuttings. So this is just a sort of ‘note to self’ about my potentially lucrative idea. It’ll keep for another time. If you’re reading this though, I may decide to patent the concept, so Look out for me on Dragons Den soon 🙂

My Pi day mow

Today, March 14, has been dubbed ‘Pi’ day by geeky people all over the world. It’s because the mathematical constant pi is 3.14 (actually, it’s a bit more than that 🙂 ) and today’s date (when written US style) is 3/14. If Britain still ruled the world (hahahahahah) we would write the date as 14/3 and all those celebrating pi would be left hi and dri.So there. Put that in you pi(pe) and smoke it!

Anyhow, what did we do to mark pi day?

Simple: I mowed the lawn.

Say what??? 🙂

To recap: I mowed the lawn. Mowing is a lot like the number pi when you think about it. Pi goes on apparently for ever, without getting to even three-and-a-half, never mind four; and the lawn goes on growing for ever, without a week’s rest all through the growing season.

And talking of going on for ever, our simple non-motorised push mower also seems to be virtually immortal, with only a slight whimper at the first mowing of the year, when the grass is a little thicker than I might otherwise like.

Of course, I briefly forgot it was Pi day and thought it was Pie day instead. Which probably explains why I made such a meal out of this morning’s mowing and had to fix a couple of bolts on our machine before success could be achieved.

Our push mower has been going for nine years now and has outlived everyone else’s mower around here. Hover mowers come and go, but low-tech lives forever.

Waffle Garden News

Here at Waffle Towers (or, to be more precise, a few metres outside it) we have a small garden. It’s not a Zen garden: it is, of course, a Waffle Garden. (W.A.F.F.L.E = ‘Weeds And Flowers Fight Like Enemies’. Just thought of that. Not bad for time of evening etc.)

We don’t do much gardening, but what we do has been an education. Mainly an education in how to identify weeds–and kill dem!

I recently found an old box of lawn seed in the shed that we forgot we had bought several years ago. (I’ll leave that last sentence ambiguous for anyone learning English, so they can debate whether we bought a shed or a box of grass seed 🙂 )

I won’t say what brand of grass seed it was, but it has MIRACULOUSLY taken root in our left-side border and is doing fairly well so far. Let’s hope it continues to establish itself. If so, that side will be much easier to manage.

In other Waffle Garden news: our trusty old cordless G-Tech strimmer gave up the ghost a couple of weeks ago. Shana found a discount cordless strimmer on Tesco’s the other day, and I tried it this afternoon after mowing the lawn. The new strimmer does a tidy job and is a rather nice shade of green. Here endeth the technical report.

And after all that gardening, here endeth this post. Happy gardening, everyone 🙂

What gardening programmes have taught me

From BBC2’s wonderful Beechgrove Garden about three weeks ago, we discovered (during one of the team’s visits to an outside garden) that a mature sycamore tree in bloom is equivalent, in terms of the various benefits to wildlife, to six acres of wildflower meadow! Yes, six whole acres. Across the road from Waffle Towers is a plot of land destined (eventually) to have a dozen or so three-storey houses built on it. In the centre of this plot sits a mature sycamore tree. What a loss to the area that will be.

From ITV’s Love Your Garden this week, during a lavish garden makeover for a recovering injured policeman and his family, we heard that it is simply not true that the roots of a tree extend outwards to the same distance as the tree’s crown or canopy. Instead, you should roughly treble the tree’s height and this will give you a more accurate figure. Aren’t tree roots amazing!

And from BBC’s Gardeners’ World we learned not so long ago that Nigel the dog likes squeaky tennis balls and that Monty Don suffers from box leaf blight. I dunno. Must be the aftershave, I guess 🙂