Football Association announces tough new penalties for handball


Or maybe players will merely be fined fifty grand (ie, two days’ wages ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Welcome to the misfit Subbuteo squad who arrived in time for my birthday in late June (I rather think Shana may have had something to do with this.) ย in a small box labelled ‘Peter Rabbit and Friends’. Was this the then England manager’s secret identity, I wonder?

Anyway, water under the bridge etc and things happen fast in footie. So now we have a new England supremo (‘Big Sam’) and possible new and innovative winning ways to come. Beginning with…


…a change from that boring old 4-4-2 formation…


…to a merciless 10-0-0 virtually impenetrable wall of players. That should take some beating, eh?


Tennis with wolves

Until rain stopped play, I had been enjoying watching theย tennis at the French Open. But everytime I saw one of the security staff in their dark suits and earpieces, all I could think of was this advert!!

Up the Brewers!

Burton-upon-Trent is best known as the home of pale ale and Marmite. (Yes, a complete nutritious evening meal after a hard day’s blogging ๐Ÿ™‚ )

My fellow Waffler, Shana, is well acquainted with the town, having been there a couple of times (as with just about every other place listed in my handy gazetteer of the British Isles).

Burton is one of several teams that we therefore follow on Saturday’s football results. And amazingly, Burton, known as the ‘brewers’, because of the town’s industrial brewing past, have just been promoted from League One to the dizzy heights of the Championship, after clinching second place following a thrilling no-score draw with Doncaster.

Like many other part-time sports fans, we can name not a single one of the players and are similarly clueless about the colour of the team’s kit. We do know they play at the Pirelli stadium (Shana’s mother used to work for Pirelli as a tyre fitter ๐Ÿ™‚ ) and their manager is Nigel Clough. That’s Burton Albion’s manager. Not Pirelli’s. (‘Scuse my inclarity on that last point.)

Anyway, notes to selves: must now mug up on all things Burton, in case they become the next Leicester City and end up in the Champions League. Can you imagine: Burton Albion 2, Barcelona 0. (Yeah, in your dreams ๐Ÿ™‚ )

How to make bowls more exciting

As if life were not exciting enough here at Waffle Towers, we have been watching the Bowls World Championships on telly this week. For sheer adrenalin-fuelled action and, it’s unbeatable (although the Watching Paint Dry Championships does come close ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Bowls though, can still be improved.

Bowls’ winter relative, curling, inspired me. Often known (dreided?) as ‘bowls on ice’, curling (a sport popular in the Republic of Scotland) involves sliding a half-ton boulder along an ice rink towards a target. Curling players move in advance of the boulder or ‘stone’ using specaial long-handled brushes to smooth the path of the stone and help it to reach its goal.

I suggest that bowls should adopt similar tactics. As bowls is played on a long carpet, brushes would not work so well. Instead, bowlers could walk in advance of their bowls, using a small vacuum cleaner such as a little smiling Henry, to clear up any dust or debris that might otherwise slow down their bowl. Rules would be needed to limit the suction of the chosen vacuum cleaners so that nobody could gain an unfair advantage by somehow sucking the bowl along towards the jack.

Maybe I should write to the governing body or whoever makes up the rules for bowls. I’ll get my crayons out right away…

In other news, the World Bowls Championships for next year was going to be held in Las Vegas. However, this has since been changed, as players were unhappy with the carpet the Yanks were planning to use. I can see their point, although I quite like it myself ๐Ÿ™‚